March 23

A Latter-day Saint woman on the train was anxious to use the "golden questions," so as soon as she could she asked the man in the seat next to her, "How much do you know about the Mormon Church?"

"Oh, a little," came the answer.

"Would you like to know more?"

"Yes," he replied, "I am a stake president, and I need all the help I can get!"

(MormonZone.com)

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Giving a lesson on marriage, a Sunday School teacher tried to explain to the teenage group the significance of the color white.

“White,” she said, “stands for purity and joy. That is why the bridal gown is white. Her wedding day should be the most pure and joyous occasion of a young lady’s life.”

One of the boys ask, “Why, then, does the husband wear a black tuxedo?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 138)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

The delicious cookies in the oven are not all for you.

You would rather be “chosen” than “called.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

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Ashleigh Brilliant: It is not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

Mark Twain: Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; the cauliflower is nothing but a cabbage with a college education. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 205)

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This event took place at the Church-owned woolen mills which Brother J. Golden Kimball had been instructed to visit, representing the First Presidency of the Church. Part of his attire was a long frock coat, which he often wore. As he was walking along discussing plant operation with his young guide, his coat accidentally caught in one of the machines, which began to pull him around so fast that he first ran and then was dragged around in circles. After being pulled around for several revolutions, the coat broke loose, and he was thrown to the floor. The young man who was showing him around the mill went running over and said, “Brother Kimball, speak to me! Speak to me!” Golden looked at him straight in the eye and said, “I don’t know why the hell I should. I passed you twelve times just now, and not once did you speak to me!” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 104)

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