March 24

The number one thing overhead on the Ark is...Are we there yet?

Q: How many Mormon Relief Society presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: NONE, that light bulb wouldn't dare burn out!

(MormonZone.com)

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Speaking with the girls and their parents about the girls going to summer camp in a week, Sister Jones made this observation, “When the girls leave for summer camp, it can be a highly emotional experience. Last year my teenage niece cried her eyes out when she suddenly realized that she was leaving those things nearest and dearest to her---her cell phone, the TV, and the bathtub.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 138)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You are living the 10 commandments, paying 10 percent tithing, and looking for the 10 tribes.

You know that angels have trumpets, not wings. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

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If it weren’t for the “last minute,” very little would be accomplished in this world.

A young girl felt she could do nothing right. Whether it was her chores, her homework, or her eating habits, it seemed her parents were always criticizing her. Finally she made a large sign and put it on her bedroom door: “Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 206)

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In 1934, only four years before J. Golden Kimball’s death, Claude Richards published a book about J. Golden’s life. Richard wrote it with Golden’s approval. In one of J. Golden’s final addresses, he said, “Claude Richards printed a book about me. I am not here to sell the book. I haven’t a nickel invested in it. I wouldn’t take a chance on that investment!” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 105)

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So, You’re a Bishop? , p. 70

So, You’re a Bishop?, p. 70