March 25

The Number One reason Eve was created. . .When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."

Q: Why did Noah have to discipline the chickens on the Ark?

A: Because they were using "fowl" language.

(MormonZone.com)

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One of the Primary songs is “Follow the Prophet.” The seventh verse reads: “Jonah was a prophet, tried to run away, But he later learned to listen and obey. When we really try, the Lord won’t let us fail: That’s what Jonah learned deep down inside the whale.”

One Sunday in Primary, the children were asked what song they would like to sing. A little girl raised her hand and said, “Swallow the Prophet.” Explaining, the little girl said, “Jonah was a prophet, who was swallowed by a whale.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 139)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You are sure that heaven has windows that can be opened to pour out blessings.

You choose “prophets” over “profits.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

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Ardeth Greene Kapp: Every year I find myself becoming more and more concerned about health, perhaps because a friend warned me that after forty years of age, it’s patch, patch, patch...I heard the other day of a lady much older than I who had completed fifty pushups that very morning. That was distressing to me until I learned that she had begun them a year ago! (My Neighbor, My Sister, My Friend, 91). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 209)

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J. Golden Kimball: My father selected land on the side hill, among the rocks---he wanted to get away from the center of the city. He owned what is known as Capitol Hill. He left his children that real estate. There was one lot that was given to my mother’s family, and I owned one-third of it. I sold it, and have been sorry that I ever did. I am thankful we had sense enough to keep sufficient ground to bury our posterity on it. What about the rest of the property? There is now hardly a Kimball to be found on Capital Hill---unless it be those that are dead. (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 105)

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So, You’re a Bishop? , p.44

So, You’re a Bishop?, p.44