March 26

Church Rules in France:

It is possible that on entering this church, you may hear the Call of God.

On the other hand, it is not likely that He will contact you by phone.

Thank you for turning off your phone.

If you would like to talk to God, come in, choose a quiet place, and talk to Him.

If you would like to see Him, send Him a text while driving.

* * * * *

One of the Primary songs is “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam.” In Primary one day, it was asked of the children what song they would like to sing. A Sunbeam girl raised her hand and said, “Jesus Wants Me for a Sardine.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 140)

* * * * *

You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You think a call is “issued” rather than “dialed.”

You know that good things come in threes: witnesses, Nephites, and glories. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 111)

* * * * *

Elder Ronald Poelman was returning from a conference in St. Louis on the same plane as President Spencer W. Kimball. When Elder Poelman got up to walk for a minute, President Kimball caught him by the arm. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“I was just stretching my legs.”

“You don’t need to do that; they are long enough already. It’s little people like me who need to stretch their legs” (Kimball, “Spencer W. Kimball,” BYU Studies 25[4]:64). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 209)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball: “One day a stranger came in our midst, and climbed a hill near here and soon stood in an ant bed. When the ants commenced to bite, he commenced to curse the Mormons. I suppose he thought they were Mormon ants, and he held us responsible for them.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 108)

* * * * *

Mission Moments , p. 18

Mission Moments, p. 18