March 29

A man dies and goes to Heaven. Saint Peter meets the man at the gate to show him around. The man notices a cliff and asks Peter what it is. Peter says it is Hell and he shouldn't go over there because it is too horrible to look at. Curiosity is too much for the man though, and he looks over the cliff. Down below he sees a beautiful green valley, with lovely gardens and fruit trees.

"Doesn't look too bad," the man says to Peter. Concerned, Peter looks over the cliff and says, "Darn it! Those Mormons have been irrigating again!"


* * * * *

Ward Newsletter Blunders:

Remember in prayer the many that are sick, of our church and community.

For those of you who have children, and don’t know it, we have a nursery in Room 6. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 142)

* * * * *

No matter where you move to, your new Ward will be looking for a nursery leader.

The more reverent the meeting is, the more fidgety your children will be. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 113)

* * * * *

An agnostic and an atheist got married and got along fine until they began to have children. Then they began to have many heated arguments. They couldn’t decide which religion NOT to raise their children in. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 214)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball, being so thin, looked bad at best, but when infection and infirmity struck, he was frightful to see. On one occasion he quipped, “I thank God I do not feel as bad as I look.

I want to say to you Latter-day Saints that when I am walking around, I am alive and my head works.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 127)

* * * * *