March 5

How far can a dog run into the woods?

Halfway–then he is running out.

Why is a good story like a church bell?

Because it is often tolled. (Told)

(G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 29)

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Having a serious discussion with the Priests in his Ward about sin and repentance, a Bishop asked the boys, “What must we do before we can expect forgiveness of our sins?

One of the boys answered, “Sin.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 126)

* * * * *

My brain is like a well-soaked sponge

held underneath a spout,

For every thought that gets poured in

another drips right out. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 103)

* * * * *

A little girl had some blocks with letters on them. She was learning the ABC’s with the use of her blocks, and one night, just before bedtime, she was playing with them. When she got into bed, she started to say her prayers, but she was so tired that all she could say was, “Heavenly Father, I am too sleepy to say my prayers. Here are the blocks and the letters. Can you just spell it out for me?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 194)

* * * * *

At one time J. Golden Kimball bore his testimony as follows: “I know that the Mormon gospel is true, that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and when I know a thing, I know it. Why worry about what the other fellows say? As far as I am concerned, they can go to hell, and that is where the most of them will go.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 39)

* * * * *

Mission Moments,  p. 25

Mission Moments, p. 25