March 6

Who may marry many a wife and yet live single all his life?

A clergyman.

When did the boy stop bragging about his family tree?

When he found out there were some “saps” in his tree.

(G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 30)

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Sister Reynolds took her two young boys to a museum to look at the paintings. Several paintings showed individuals with halos above their head. The boys asked their mother what that meant. Sister Reynolds explained that the halo meant those individuals were good people. Then she said, “but just remember that if a good person slips and does something wrong, a halo can slip down around the neck and become a noose.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 127)

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Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Kind words bring a smile,

Especially from you!

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 103)

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Little Susie concluded her prayer by saying: “Dear God, before I finish, please take care of Daddy and Mommy, take care of my baby brother, Grandma and Grandpa...and please, God, take care of yourself, or else we are all sunk.”

Joseph Fielding Smith: Our prayers are not for the purpose of telling the Lord how to run his business (Take Heed to Yourselves! 343-44). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 195)

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J. Golden Kimball once said, “The trouble with some of us is that we start our mouths going and then go off and leave them.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 41)

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Source:      Click Here!

Source: Click Here!