April 1

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gates and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours; all you have to do is ask."

The cat says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."

Peter says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. Peter meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made the cat.

The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could each have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."

Peter says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, Peter decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. Peter gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?"

The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

The Mormon Zone.com

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Sister Anderson and Sister Madison were discussing the eating habits of their teenage children. Sister Madison said, “In our home, mealtime is the time of day when the boys sit down to the table to continue eating!” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 145)

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After planning your family’s vacation for over a year, your daughter’s summer camp will be scheduled during the same week.

No matter how early you start getting ready for church, you will still be rushing at the last minute to leave on time. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 114)

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Ben E. Rich: That has always been the work of the evil one; he holds out false promises to the people as an inducement to get them to turn their backs upon the prophet of Almighty God, just as he held out false promises to the Savior Himself when he showed Him the glories of the world and promised to give them all to Him, if the Savior would fall down and worship him. Satan, that great deceiver, never owned a foot of it (Conference Report, Apr. 1910, 91). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 221)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I love God, and I love God because He is a God of love, because he is a God of kindness, a God of forgiveness, for He has provided an opportunity that with all our weaknesses, we can repent. And if you take from me the joy, the happiness, the peace and forgiveness, for heaven’s sake, what have I left? I would not give you a nickle for the whole thing. I love this work.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 137)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 37

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 37