April 14

A college professor, an avowed atheist, was teaching his class. Trying to shock the students, he stated that he could prove there was no God.

Addressing the ceiling he shouted, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes."

The room fell silent. Ten minutes went by. Again, the professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the professor and hit him squarely in the jaw, sending him tumbling off the platform.

The professor was out cold. The young Marine calmly took a seat in the front row and sat silently. The stunned class also fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor woke up and hazily looked at the young Marine in the front row. Finally, he asked, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

"God was busy so He sent me."

(TheMormonZone.com)

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An older High Councilman began his talk about the resurrection with this statement: “Life is a terminal disease.”

An older Relief Society sister stated, “I am at the age where my ‘happy hour’ is a nap.”

An older Brother said to his returned-missionary grandson, “The trouble with getting old is that it is a 24-hour-a-day job.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 14)

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Sign that your Family Home Evening needs help:

You are annoyed when asked to turn the TV off for five minutes, during half time, to read a quick scripture and then send the kids to bed. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 121)

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Neighbor: Thank you, Trent. I’ll get on the phone right away and thank your mother for sending you over with these six nice blueberry muffins.

Trent: Sister Jones... when you call my mother, could you possibly thank her for those ‘eight’ muffins? (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 233)

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J. Golden Kimball: I am trying to be wise, and I am trying to be prudent, and I confess to you, I am having a terrible time...I am willing to take off my hat to these horny-handed, white-headed broken-down men who have made it possible for us to exist in this mountain country. I say God bless these aged men. If you want examples, any object lessons, go down to Saint George and see what it has cost to settle that country...Some of the best men in the whole earth have died to make that country habitable...” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 101)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 41

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 41