April 19

The Way the Bible Would Have Been Different if Written by BYU Students:

1. Loaves and fishes would be replaced by pizza and chips.

2. Instead of creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, it was put off until the night before it was due and then created during an all-nighter.

TheMormonZone.com

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Some cereal boxes contain a toy inside. Brother Todd watched his young grandson excitedly open such a box and then commented to a friend, “You know you have entered another stage of life when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not for the toy.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 18)

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Life is like:

Learning to ride a bike: Though hard bumps cause bruises and pain, you will be glad you persevered when you get to the end of the ride.

A Disney movie: Goodness always prevails in the end. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 125)

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Every talk has three basic elements: faith, hope, and charity. When the speaker begins, the audience must have faith–faith that the talk will be interesting. After he has spoken for a few minutes, they display hope–hope that the end of it is drawing nigh. When the speaker is finally done, the congregation says, “Amen.” That is charity. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 242)

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J. Golden Kimball: “We have got to be honest; we must be truthful; we must be moral, if we are saved in the kingdom of God. I do not know just what will come out of our complex situation, but I do believe this, most ardently, that ‘every tub shall stand upon its own bottom.’ I believe that every man, woman, and child will have to have a testimony and a knowledge that this is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or they cannot stand.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 127)

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Two By Two  by Darold Westover

Two By Two by Darold Westover