April 23

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve is praying and says, "I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"I'm lonely!"

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What is a 'man'?"

"A man is a person with an enormous ego, but understanding of others at the same time. He will be bigger and more muscular than you, but he will be extremely concerned about providing and caring for you."

"That sounds okay," Eve replied, somewhat curious.

"Eve, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

TheMormonZone.com

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During an Elder’s Quorum meeting on budgeting, Brother Jeffs quipped, “Money won’t buy happiness, but it is a lot easier to cope with depression in a Cadillac than an old Ford.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 38)

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Pondering About the Millennium:

What new vocation will prison guards, life insurance salesmen and morticians have?

Will there be any defense attorneys?

Will doctors do anything more than deliver babies? (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 126)

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George Eliot: Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.

Brigham Young: I will take the liberty of suggesting to my brethren who address the congregation that our sermons should be short, and if they are not filled with life and spirit, let them be shorter. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 247)

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J. Golden Kimball: “This world was not made just to bold people imbued with selfishness and unhappiness, with no ambition beyond eating, drinking, and begetting. We ought to plan ahead, have some purpose, that is truly living. Life means opportunity. Life means development. Life well spent means knowledge, growth, simplicity of life and complexity of thought.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 136)

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