April 24

Q: Where was King Solomon's “temple” located?

A: On the side of his head.

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden one day and he notices that he is all alone, but all of the animals have companions. So, he requests a companion.

He receives this response, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg."

Adams thinks for a few moments and then replies, "What could I get for a rib?"

TheMormonZone.com

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A six-year-old son asked permission to open his medicine bottle by himself. After he had struggled turning and twisting the cap for a few minutes, his mother explained that the bottle had a childproof cap.

Exasperated, the boy looked at his mother and said, “How does the cap know I am a child?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 44)

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Pondering About the Millennium:

Will we still get cavities?

Will there still be tornadoes or hurricanes?

Will the nightly news be uplifting? (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 126)

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Hugh B. Brown: For a speech to be immortal, it does not need to be everlasting (Conference Report, Apr. 1956,103).

Speaking of a lawyer, Abraham Lincoln said, “He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 251)

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J. Golden Kimball: “We cannot evolve men like Washington, Boone, George Rogers, Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, or the other pioneers, under the present environment and educational system. We run our children through a course of education covering from eight to twelve years, and then they are turned loose and called educated.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 135)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher!,  p. 83

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 83