April 29

Mormon Relationship Lines

1. Don't I know you from the pre-existence?

2. Wanna hold the priesthood?

3. I just got off my mission and I’m looking for my next companion.

4. The 13th Article of Faith requires me to ask you out ("If there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.")


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The Primary President spent a few minutes explaining to a noisy boy why he should be nice and reverent in his class. Then she said, “If you keep being noisy, James, perhaps I will not see you in heaven.”

“Why?” asked James innocently. “What have you been doing wrong?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 58)

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Pondering About the Millennium:

Will the Lost Tribes bring new tasty recipes?

Will they like green jello?

Will we still eat pizza? (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 127)

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Have you heard about the new tranquilizer? It doesn’t help you relax, but it lets you enjoy being tense.

He who will thrive must rise at five;

He that hath thriven may lie till seven. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 257)

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J. Golden Kimball: When President Brigham Young came upon the ground where this Temple now stands, he dropped his cane, and said: “Here we will build a Temple to our God.” They got busy, they prayed about it, and then they built it. It took them 40 years. When I think about that building, every stone in it is a sermon to me. It tells of suffering, it tells of sacrifice, it preaches-- every rock in it preaches a discourse. When it was dedicated, it seemed to me that it was the greatest sermon that has ever been preached since the Sermon on the Mount. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 155)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 49

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 49