April 30

Something You Don't Want to Hear Your Bishop Say:

1. This particular class has had six teachers in the last three months. However, we feel inspired to call YOU as their teacher.

2. We have a General Authority visiting this Sunday and we'd like to ask you to be the main speaker in Sacrament Meeting.

3. Just a minute. I think there is something about your situation in the Handbook.


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A young girl was about to say her part in a Primary program. When she stood in front of the audience, her carefully rehearsed line faded from her mind, and she stood there unable to utter a single word.

Her mother quickly moved to her side and whispered, “Remember what I taught you at home, ‘I am the light of the world.’”

Instantly the girl’s face relaxed, a smile appeared and with confidence she began, “My mother is the light of the world.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 58)

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Pondering About the Millennium:

Will we still be advised to have food storage?

Will we have to weed our gardens?

Will there be a new tenth article of faith? (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 128)

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Asked one day for a mathematical formula for success in life, Albert Einstein gave the following:

If ‘a’ is success in life, the formula would be: a = x+y+z

Einstein then explained his formula:

‘a’ (success) equals ‘x’ (work) plus ‘y’ (play) plus ‘z’ (knowing when to keep your mouth shut) (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 258)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I know what is the matter. We think more of automobiles and hundred-dollar gowns than we do of salvation...Now, brethren and sisters, we have prophets, we have apostles, we have many blessings. You Seventies must go out and heal the sick, comfort the desolate, and you must go to the nations of the world, after this war is over–it cannot last forever. You Seventies must go–otherwise we will make High Priests of you and ordain other Seventies who will go.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 156-157)

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Missionary Chronicles 1

Missionary Chronicles 1