April 7

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your scriptures a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss the use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been really proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Scriptures diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a minute and then replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even Jesus had long hair...."

To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!"

The Mormon Zone.com

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Question: Where is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible?

Answer: In Genesis, when God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 9)

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You probably are, or have been, a Latter-day Saint Missionary if:

You have learned that pouring ketchup on burnt scrambled eggs works.

Your closet has nine shirts in it and eight of them are white. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 118)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I am going to read to you a little from the Bible about the mission of Christ. I would quote it, but after I get through quoting it, you wouldn’t recognize it.”

“I am a little like my father, when he used to quote scripture, he would say, “Well, if that isn’t in the Bible, it ought to be.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 224)

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J. Golden Kimball: “You never saw an apostate in your life, who had been a Latter-day Saint, that ever settled down and been satisfied in any other church in the world. They are not even satisfied with Spiritualism, notwithstanding they may talk with spirits...” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 66)

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Mission Mania,  p. 45

Mission Mania, p. 45