April 8

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

As they lay down for the night, Holmes said, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see".

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars"

Holmes then asked, "And what does that tell you?"

Watson replied, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answered, "Somebody stole our tent."

(The Mormon Zone.com)

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Question: What was the phone number for the Garden of Eden?

Answer: Adam 8-1-2.

Question: How did Adam and Eve feel when they were driven from the Garden of Eden?

Answer: They were “put out.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 9)

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You probably are, or have been, a Latter-day Saint Missionary if:

The only way you dress differently than your roommate is the color of your tie.

While you are out walking, people you don’t even know honk and wave at you with a big smile. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 119)

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In a Primary sharing time, the students played a “Who Am I?” game using a figure from each of the standard works. The answer to the “Who Am I?” for the Book of Mormon was the Brother of Jared. “But what is his real name?” the teacher asked. “It’s long and hard to pronounce.” Without hesitation, one of the boys called out, “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 225)

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J. Golden Kimball: “It is our business to treat all such kindly, to sympathize with them, and if possible to uplift them, but I do not like a traitor, and never did...I will not sustain a man who will lie, abuse, and deride this people...I have been acquainted with all the Prophets of God from the days of President Brigham Young on down. They have been kind to me. It does not matter much to me where the place is that they have gone to, but I do not want to go with any others, because I would be lonesome.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 71)

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Mission Mania  , p. 16