April 10

Mortal: What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second.

Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you?

God: Like one penny.

Mortal: Can I have a million dollars?

God: Just a second.

(The Mormon Zone.com)

* * * * *

Question: What was the longest day in the Garden of Eden?

Answer: When there was no Eve.

After telling the story of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit, a grandmother asked her grandson what the pair had done wrong.

He thought briefly and answered, “They didn’t wash their hands before eating.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 10)

* * * * *

You probably are, or have been, a Latter-day Saint Missionary if:

You spend more time praying for others than for yourself.

“Section Four” has a significant meaning for you.

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 119)

* * * * *

Interviewing a member of his Ward, the Bishop asked, “If you had two houses, would you give one to a homeless person?”

“I think I would,” the man replied.

“If you had two cars, would you give one to someone who needed it?”

“I think I would,” the man said.

“If you had two bicycles, would you give one to someone who needed it?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I have two bicycles.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 227)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball: I don’t think we need spend very much time troubling over our enemies, and I don’t believe in sticking pins in them. Take no more notice of them than you would of a rice dog. One time, in the south, it was my companion’s turn to knock on the door, and he stood on a platform nearly as high as my head. He knocked on the door, and just then one of those little rice dogs bounded out the doorway, ran right between my companion’s legs and landed on top of my head. That is the only time I ever was frightened by a rice dog, and I never have been frightened since. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 74)

* * * * *

Mission Mania , p. 13

Mission Mania, p. 13