April 9

I Looked Out The Window Sung to "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree"

I looked out my window and what did I see?

Two Mormon missionaries coming after me.

They came and gave me such a nice surprise,

A Book of Mormon right before my eyes.

They told me if I read it, and prayed about it too,

That Heavenly Father would tell me it was true.

I didn't think so then, but it turned out to be,

The very best thing that every happened to me.

(The Mormon Zone.com)

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Question: What is one of the things that Adam and Eve did after they were driven from the Garden of Eden?

Answer: They raised a little Cain.

Question: How long did Cain dislike his brother?

Answer: As long as he was Abel. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 9)

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You probably are, or have been, a Latter-day Saint Missionary if:

You missed your youngest sister’s wedding because you were “out of town.”

In your spare time you have learned to be a bicycle mechanic. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 119)

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Math teacher: Ryan, if you had six donuts, and I asked you for three, how many would you have left?

Ryan: Six (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 227)

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J. Golden Kimball: “It requires constant faith to stay in this Church. I believe it is the hardest church to stay in that there is on earth, because you have always got to keep exercising faith. I remember hearing of a man who apostatized from the Church, and he was asked what was the matter. He said, ‘Well, I got tired of exercising faith.’ That is true. Some people who call themselves Latter-day Saints would have destroyed this Church long ago if they had the power, but they can’t do it.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 73)

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Mission Mania , p.  39

Mission Mania, p. 39