May 10

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

A. It’s Christmas, Eve!

Q. How does Moses make his coffee?

A. Hebrews it.

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In teaching his children, President Joseph Fielding Smith often told them that “wickedness never was happiness” and that the adversary would rather have one of his children than someone else’s because of their Smith name. He would tell them that in the beginning all men were “Smiths,” and when they did something wrong, they had to change their name. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 83)

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Candid Statements heard from children by a Primary Teacher:

“Can my dog get baptized so it can go to heaven?”

“My grandpa lives with the angels.”

“How many bedrooms are there in the house of Israel?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 6)

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A dedicated scholar was working on a Bible commentary. His friend, concerned about more practical matters said, “How impractical! You need a job you can get paid for. Why don’t you stop writing that commentary? It will get you nowhere!”

“And if I stopped writing, would it get me anywhere?” asked the scholar. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 276)

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J. Golden Kimball: I am glad the Lord talks plainly. Why are they not chosen? “Because their hearts are so much set upon the things of the world, and they aspire to the honors of men.” They would break their blamed necks to get an office in the state or in the nation. I haven’t heard of anyone breaking his neck to go on a mission, not lately anyway. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 182)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 47

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 47