May 11

Q. Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

A. Abraham. He knew a Lot.

Q. Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?

A. He thought he saw a “job.”

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The story has been told about the little baby nine months old who was born blind. The father came up to Brother Matthew Cowley one Sunday, and said, “Brother Cowley, our baby hasn’t been blessed yet, and we would like you to bless him.” Brother Cowley replied, “I would be happy to. What is the name you would like me to give him?”He told Brother Cowley the name, and then just as he was going to start, the father said, “By the way, could you give him his vision when you give him a name. He was born blind.” Brother Cowley blessed the baby and gave him a name and, because he had faith in the father’s faith, he promised the baby his vision.

Twelve years later, Elder Cowley visited the area again and inquired as to how the boy was doing. The Branch President said, “Brother Cowley, that was the worst thing you did to bless that child to receive his vision. That kid is always getting into mischief.”

Brother Cowley: “Boy, I was thrilled to hear about that boy getting into mischief!” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 84)

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Candid Statements heard from children by a Primary Teacher:

“My dad said one time that the Bishop should get his head examined. What does that mean?

“Are you one of God’s helpers?”

“The prophet is lucky. He has 12 opossums.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 7)

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The great inventor Thomas Edison showed his love of work when his wife complained that he was working too hard and needed a rest. “You must go on vacation,” she said.

“But where would I go?” asked the inventor.

“Just decide where you would rather be than anywhere else on earth, and then go there,” Mrs. Edison suggested.

“Very well,” Edison said, “I will go there tomorrow.”

The next morning Mrs. Edison found him back at work in his laboratory. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 277)

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J. Golden Kimball: I had a man come to me the other day who wanted me to endorse his note. I had sworn, almost on an oath, I would never sign another note. But he looked at me so pitifully that I told him I would sign it. The bank did not know me, for which I was very thankful. I went to the bank, and he said, “Mr. Kimball, do you have any collaterals?” I said, “Collaterals? I should say not! I haven’t got a collateral of any kind.” He said, “How do you expect me to take your endorsement?” I replied, “On my looks and general character. That is all I have got.” And he turned me down; and I have been tickled to death ever since. That is the way to keep out of debt.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 183)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 46

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 46