May 13

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?

A. Ruthless.

Q. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?

A. Quackers

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My parents have been married for 61 years. My father always told us, “If you have a disagreement with your wife, you should never go to sleep until it is resolved. I had a hard time getting any sleep the first three years of our marriage.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 98)

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Candid Statements heard from children by a Primary Teacher:

“The popcorn on our apricot tree tastes awful.”

“Why aren’t there any “high” deacons or “high” teachers, like the “high” priests?”

“I want to be an angel so I can grow wings.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 7)

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When Spencer W. Kimball traveled on weekend assignments to a Stake Conference, he would stay in the home of the Stake President or one of his counselors. One time, President Christensen put him up on a Saturday night. When they got home about 6 p.m. from the chapel, Spencer offered to help milk the cows needing their attention. Spencer milked two of the three cows while President Christensen milked one. They then fed the cows and went in to supper. The next morning, Spencer got up early and again helped milk the cows before conference started. In conference, when the Stake President introduced Elder Kimball, he told about Elder Kimball helping him milk and feed the cows. After the meeting, some of the people came up to shake hands and said, “When you come next time, you can stay with us.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 278)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I guess there is a reporter here, isn’t there? I am always afraid of those ‘blooming reporters.’ They always get things down as I say it, but it doesn’t always sound as well as I would like. It sounds all right when I deliver it, but it doesn’t read well in print...All I care about is to finish my work, deliver my message, get through with the business I have to do, and if God can see fit in his mercy to give me salvation, that is all I want...” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 186)

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Mission Moments , p. 10

Mission Moments, p. 10