May 15

Question: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

Answer: Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little profit. (prophet)

Question: What kind of motor vehicle is mentioned in the Bible?

Answer: Adam and Eve were driven out of the Garden in a Fury. (an automobile)

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The rented movie was sad, and the college coed sat there with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her date, a returned missionary, volunteered to help. “I’ll kiss those tears away.”

After she nodded her head in approval, the returned missionary did his best, but the coed’s tears still flowed.

He finally asked, “Will nothing stop your tears?”

“Not really,” she said softly. “It is hay fever, but please go on with your treatment.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 99)

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Candid Statements heard from children by a Primary Teacher:

“I’m cold. How do I get the sun to shine in my soul?”

“I’m taking swimming lessons. Now I won’t be afraid to get baptized.”

“Sometimes my Dad sneaks a candy bar on fast Sundays.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 7)

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A college-age daughter wrote home, “Dear Dad and Mom. I’m really worried about you. Haven’t heard from you in days. Could you please send a check in the mail, so I will know you are all right.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 281)

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J. Golden Kimball: I am going to read to you something that was said three years after I was born. That was a very long time ago. It seems to me like a hundred years. A prophet of God said it, and it is coming true every day...Heber C. Kimball said, “...the time will come when we will be mixed up in these peaceful valleys to the extent that it will be difficult to tell the face of a Saint from the face of an enemy.” I have stood on a corner of Main street to prove the fulfillment of this statement...I only saw a very few that were “Mormons,” and I wasn’t right sure of them. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 193)

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Mission Mania , p. 5

Mission Mania, p. 5