May 20

Why should contractors and developers who build twin homes and condomiums be concerned?

Because this verse says, “Woe unto them that join house to house,…“ (Isaiah 5:8)

The Lord is a surgeon?

This verse states: “…but they regard not the work of the Lord, neither consider the operation of his hands.” (Isaiah 5:12)

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Flying over Portland, Oregon in the early evening to begin his missionary labors in the Northwestern States Mission, the new missionary looked out the window of the plane at thousands of lights shining down below, and his heart sank. “I have to knock on everyone of those doors?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 103)

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You are probably living the Word of Wisdom if:

The only beer you drink has a “root” in it.

You take “coffee breaks,” but don’t break for coffee.

The only beverage you have ever “spiked” your punch with is 7-UP. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 9)

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A worker was leaning far out over the edge of a barn loft. Unfortunately, he slipped and fell. Fortunately, there was a hay wagon moving in front of the barn just below him. Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork sticking up in the middle of the load of hay. Fortunately, the man didn’t hit the pitchfork. Unfortunately, he didn’t hit the hay wagon either. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 4)

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J. Golden Kimball: “All great men have been misunderstood. So I conclude that to be misunderstood is greatness; that is if you speak the truth...There is nothing in the world that the wicked dislike so much as the truth...I never like to read from a paper, but sometimes I have to do it in order to make myself clear. These are the impressions of J. G. Kimball. You ought to know who I am by this time.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 209)

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Mission Mania , p. 15

Mission Mania, p. 15