May 21

At a mission office, missionaries were told to read and think about the Missionary Safety Slogan each day before they drove the mission car: “Remember, it is not only the car that can be recalled by its Maker.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 109)

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You are probably living the Word of Wisdom if:

The only alcohol you ever buy is for “rubbing.”

The only difference you know between red and white wine is the color.

You own a coffee cup that has never had coffee in it. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 10)

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J. Golden Kimball: When I was sick, I read a positive thinking book from cover to cover, and I went trotting around, saying, “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” Then every morning when I got up, I was worse and worse (Conference Report, Apr. 1926, 61).

Good advice is always the most successful when it follows a bad scare.

A traveling businessman was going through one of the tiniest towns he had ever seen. He finished his day’s business and then ate dinner at the town’s only café. As he finished his main course, the waitress asked him if he would like dessert.

“What are the choices?” the businessman asked.

“Yes or no,” the waitress replied. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 5, 7)

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J. Golden Kimball: “There is nothing I dreaded worse than lying outside on the ground. I prayed, and my companion prayed, and then we got up and moved on. I guess we would have starved to death if we had kept praying and had not hustled; the Lord doesn’t help people who do not hustle and move, after they pray, and do their duty...Brethren, I want to read to you. I do not read very often, except to myself. I have written it down partly because I have a poor memory, like my father.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 218)

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Mission Mania , p. 25

Mission Mania, p. 25