May 24

A Ward choir director was telling the choir members about his childhood. He said, “When I was young, my mother would always sing ‘Silent Night,’ instead of a lullaby. Later, I found out it wasn’t because that was her favorite song. She was silently praying that I would let her have a ‘silent’ night.” (Stories and Joke of Mormon Folks, by Bruce E. Dana, p. 119)

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Comments you will never hear at a Bishopric Meeting::

With so many people going out of town on vacation, I propose we cancel church for the month of August, like we did last year.

John, we realize you have served faithfully in this Ward for many years, but due to current budget problems, we regretfully have to terminate you.

Bishop, maybe the fourth Sunday of every month could be a ‘casual’ day so we won’t have to wear a suit and tie. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 12)

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President Marion G. Romney delighted in telling of his wife’s hearing loss. Once he tried to get Ida to go to her doctor for a hearing checkup, but she didn’t think she needed one. President Romney finally decided to go see her doctor himself and consult about what should be done.

President Romney explained, “He asked me how bad it was, and I said I didn’t know. He told me to go home and find out. The doctor instructed me to go into a far room and speak to her. Then I should move nearer and nearer until she did hear. In this way he could learn how bad the hearing loss was.”

President Romney went home to try his experiment. “Following the doctor’s instructions, I spoke to her from the bedroom while she was in the kitchen---no answer. I moved nearer and spoke again---no answer. So I went right up to the door of the kitchen and said, ‘Ida, can you hear me?’

She responded, ‘What is it, Marion? I have answered you three times.’” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 14)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I have been in the service for a long time. If I have ever been vain---and no doubt I have been---I think men are really more vain than women, and that is a hard blow! I have no ambition at the close of my life other than to serve God and keep his commandments and do my duty... After years of experience, I have learned that it is not what you say that counts, it is what you feel. It is not what he delivers; it is what he thinks...I am a great believer in looking forward, not downward. I am not a believer in looking backward, except for wisdom...With me, it is the future.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 228)

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