May 25

J. Golden Kimball attended a mission conference in Tennessee in 1892. As mission president, J. Golden was there to preside.

The missionaries of the Central Tennessee District decided at the lat moment that they would present a hymn at this conference. J. Golden arrived and heard the elders practicing. He stood there for several minutes listening. He then asked the Elder who was leading the singing to step outside with him.

When they got outside, he said, “Now Elder. I think it best that we have the missionaries sing in another room. We will bore holes in the door and let a little in at a time. I don’t think my eardrums could take your singing all at once.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 120)

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Comments you will never hear at a Bishopric Meeting::

Congratulations on replacing Brother Wood as your new first counselor. Be sure you get his keys to the bishopric limo.

We need to decide on the new Relief Society President today. Could you look over the resumes of these three finalists. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 13)

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Once a friend saw the aged John Quincy Adams on the street. “And how is John Quincy Adams today?” the friend asked.

“Thank you,” the ex-President responded. “John Quincy Adams is well, quite well, I thank you. But the house he lives in at present is becoming quite dilapidated. It is tottering upon its foundations. Time and the seasons have nearly destroyed it. Its roof is pretty well worn out. Its walls are much shattered, and it trembles with every wind. The old tenement is becoming almost uninhabitable, and I think John Quincy Adams will have to move out of it soon. But he himself is quite well.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 15)

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J. Golden Kimball: “You know I am a native. I guess I look like it too, don’t I? I was born in these valleys, up here on the hill, six years after the pioneers arrived. I do not remember much about their hardships and about the famine, but I certainly look like I have passed through the famine. I recall that the first thing these great men did was to select an inheritance plot. Heber C. Kimball went up on this hill, dug the rocks out, and built a stone wall around the block. And I was kept inside of it on Sundays. And I still hate rock walls yet!” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 230)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 55

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 55