May 27

Timmy, age 8, had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving dinner, or at special family gatherings, where he typically said a long prayer over the food.

One night, after a long day of hiking and fishing, this grandfather, to Timmy’s surprise, asked a brief blessing on the food.

Timmy said to his grandfather, “You don’t pray so long when you are tired and hungry, do you Grandpa?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 123)

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Bumper Stickers:

For seminary students: “Please steal this car. Rust hath corrupted it.”

For missionaries: “Honk if you want to know more.”

For returned missionaries: ‘Don’t laugh. When I count my blessings, this isn’t one of them.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 14)

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“Who’s absentminded now?” John challenged his wife as they were walking home from church. “You left your umbrella in the rack, but I remembered both yours and mine.”

And he proudly exhibited both umbrellas.

“But, dear,” protested his wife, “neither of us brought an umbrella today.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 16)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I know it takes courage to say it. I know that if we say anything to criticize the Saints, they are disturbed. Well, they need to be disturbed! What they need is a little dynamite! It seems to me a great deal of that which has been gained by faith, adversity, sacrifice and years of hard work is being let loose of by the thoughtless and careless. Our fathers and mothers died for the faith, and we are living on the faith of our pioneer ancestors.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 234)

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Mission Mania, p. 22

Mission Mania, p. 22