May 30

During a meeting of several Scoutmasters from various stakes, a Stake President was commenting about the challenges and rewards of Scouting. Then, he made this observation: “Up to sixteen years of age, a lad is a Boy Scout. After that, he turns into a ‘girl’ scout.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 124)

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Question: Why was the deacon the first person to arrive at the church?

Answer: Because he had the “fast” offerings.

When asked to show up, I never am late.

The reason is simple, as you well,

The early arriver gets the last row. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 18)

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In her nineties, Camilla Eyring Kimball, wife of President Spencer W. Kimball, noted, “A few months ago I took up painting. When someone asked me why, I responded, “What else can you take up at ninety-two?” (Edward L. Kimball, ed., Writings of Camilla Eyring Kimball, 137).

Charles Ora Card founded the Mormon settlement of Cardston, Alberta, on the windswept plains of Canada. One blustery morning, Brother Card was walking to church with his father. “Isn’t the air fresh and invigorating?” he commented.

“Yes,” said his father, “and isn’t there a lot of it?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 22)

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J. Golden Kimball: I often tell a story when called upon to speak, just as we are about to close the meeting, which happens to me occasionally. A little fellow was sick, and his mother took him to the doctor who was an herbalist. The doctor gave her four herbs and told her to boil them in a quart of water and have the little fellow drink it all. The little fellow complained: “I can’t drink all that. I can only hold a pint.” I am wondering how much you people hold after these long meetings? (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 253)

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Mission Mania , p. 85