May 6

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.

Can a first cousin, once removed, return?

Every family tree has some sap in it.

Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.

Genealogists never die, they just lose their roots.

Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.

Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related.

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“These used to be grapes,” a grandmother explained to her four-year-old grandson as she handed him some raisins.

Staring at them intently, he asked, “What happened Grandma? Did you leave them in the microwave too long?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 75)

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Pondering About the Millennium:

Will there be any ski resorts?

Will there be any place to go camping?

Will we have better memories? (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 128)

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The missionaries tracting out a small country town, stopped to chat with an old man in a rocking chair on his front porch. “You look pretty good,” one missionary said. “How have you managed to live so long?”

“Well,” the man answered, “every day I smoke my pipe, down a quart of moonshine, and drink lots of coffee during the day.”

“That doesn’t sound good! How old are you anyway?”

“Thirty.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 273)

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J. Golden Kimball: “Brethren, I have had a pretty lonely time. I have had a pretty hard struggle. I haven’t suffered much pain. I have got a pretty good brain, but it has not been big enough to handle my body. I have tried to direct and control my body, but it wouldn’t obey...I have witnessed all kinds of diseases healed, but I could not get the faith. I failed. I just had enough faith to keep alive, that is all.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 177)

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Mission Chronicles

Mission Chronicles