May 9

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

Q. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?

A. By his net income.

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J. Golden Kimball: “The Gospel must be true or greenhorn missionaries, like me, would have ruined it a long time ago.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 80)

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Candid Statements heard from children by a Primary Teacher:

“Why do I call you my ‘sister’ when you are as old as my grandma?”

“When I get bigger, I will get to go see the ‘seals’ in the temple!”

“I gave some ‘tithing’ to the Bishop because he needs a new car.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 6)

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God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never get to die! (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 276)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I find out some things by reading the Doctrine and Covenants, which, by the way, I do read. I am familiar with the Bible, a little, and the Book of Mormon, the D&C and The Pearl of Great Price...I want to say to the Latter-day Saints that, according to my judgment and experience–and I am old enough to know a few things, and I am old enough to remember some things...I read the Bible through once, and when I got through, I said, ‘I will never tackle it again in the flesh,’ but I have read in it, and I am acquainted with it, and I have marked it. I would not give my Bible for all the Bibles in the world, because it is the only Bible I can find anything in.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 181)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 48

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 48