June 1

Brad, age 14, said to his 15-year-old sister, “To look at you, a person would think there was a famine in the land.”

Rachel responded, “Yes, and to look at you, that same person would think you were the cause of it.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 145)

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Signs that you might not have enough food storage:

The beanbag chair in your family room holds every legume in your house.

Your plan of survival is to move in with your parents.

The only item you have purchased that would last your family a full year is salt. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 21)

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“Just the same,” insisted Noah’s wife, “I would feel a lot better about it if we locked up those termites in a metal box.”

Primary teacher: “And then Lot’s wife turned back to look, and she turned into a pillar of salt.”

Young class member: “That’s nothing! One day my dad turned back to look while he was driving, and he turned into a telephone pole! (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 24)

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J. Golden Kimball: I couldn’t help but think this morning of one man talking over the radio, getting a hundred fifty thousand dollars a year. No one ever gave me a nickel for any joy that I ever gave him...The prodigal dollar seems to be swallowing all that is great and noble in the nation...A new generation has arisen. Think of your pioneer fathers and mothers who with little food, without money, and without fuel, facing cold winters, who were gathered to a barren empire and transformed it into an Eden. It was a vision, a dream come true. The people now seem so content, so free from all concern; but like the people in the days of Joseph, they can be hurled from their high positions into the bitterness of slavery. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 260)

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Mission Mania,  p. 76

Mission Mania, p. 76