June 11

When Jennifer was almost eight years old and preparing herself for baptism, she came over to our house for a swim one Saturday. The night before, there had been a baptism in our pool because the font at the Ward was not functioning properly. On hearing that there had been a baptism in the pool, Jennifer refused to go swimming. We asked her why she did not want to go swimming in our pool. She said, “I do not want to swim in a pool that is full of sins!” –Richard and Jean Turley, Salt Lake City, Utah, Church News, Week Ending May 12, 2001.

* * * * *

Amended Popular Sayings:

When the going gets tough, the tough get on their knees.

Two is company; three is a meeting.

The shortest distance between two points is the iron rod. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 26)

* * * * *

It was “Kindness to Animals Week” at school, and a fourth grader came home full of pride. His parents asked him why he was so happy. He told them that each student had to do something special for an animal, and that he had done something special.

“And what did you do?” asked his mother.

“I kicked a boy for kicking his dog.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 37)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball: I remember a long time ago when the Mutual launched the Era [magazine]. I was on a trip with Apostle Francis M. Lyman. We started in Sevier and went to Panguitch and the surrounding settlements and to Kanab and St. George. We then went to Panacca. The people had not seen an Apostle for twenty years, and it was Sunday, a fast day. Meetings were begun in the morning, and they kept going all day, and we were fasting. I was pretty nearly dead at four o’clock.:-) Then Brother Lyman said, “Now, Brother Kimball, get up and tell them about the Era.” So, I did, and I said, “All of you who will take the Era if we let you go home, raise your right hand.” There was not one single person who did not raise his hand.:-) (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 277)

* * * * *

Mission Mania , p. 48

Mission Mania, p. 48