June 12

Amended Popular Sayings:

While the Bishop’s away, the counselors will pray.

The early arriver gets the last row.

Early to bed, early to wake; a 7 a.m. council meeting you must make. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 26)

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The best years of a parent’s life are when the kids are old enough to mow lawns and shovel snow, but too young to drive the car.

Aunt Barbara: Does your baby sister talk yet, Susan?

Susan: No, she doesn’t have to. She gets everything she wants just by wailing and pointing.

Recently there were tremors in a California town, and the towns people got nervous. One couple sent their little boy to stay with an aunt and uncle in another town, explaining that the impending earthquake was the reason for the visit.

A few days later, the parents got a short letter: “We’re returning your boy. Send the earthquake.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 38)

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J. Golden Kimball: I have been thinking about something for some time. Men come to me occasionally, not very often, and shake me by the hand and say, “I am glad to shake hands with a good man.” I have always been thankful they did not know me as well as I know myself.:-) What is a good man? I have had a good deal of business dealings with men who claimed to be good men. Then when they got through with me, I did not have anything left.:-) Whenever a man comes to me now and tells me how honest he is, I am not going to do business with him...I find that a man can act good and talk good and look good but not be good. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 277)

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Mission Mania , p. 89

Mission Mania, p. 89