June 18

Famous Quotes of Elementary School Teachers (back in time):

To Gadianton: “My lunch money and bracelet have disappeared from my desk. Do you happen to know who took them?”

To Hagoth: “Why are you wandering around the room?”

To Laman: “Two plus two always equals four. How many times do I have to tell you that before you’ll believe me?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 28)

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The noted agnostic Colonel Robert Ingersoll, during a visit with the famous preacher, Henry Ward Beecher, noted a beautiful globe portraying the constellations and stars of the heavens. “This is just what I have been looking for,” he said after examining it. “Who made it?”

“Who made it?” repeated Beecher in simulated astonishment. “Why Colonel, nobody made it; it just happened.”


Amy: “I”m engaged! Look, he gave me a diamond ring!”

Tiffany, noticing the small size of the ring said: “How nice. I am glad to see that you are marrying a thrifty man.”


College student to his date at a basketball game: “Look at that tall player who just made the hook shot. He will be our best man before the season’s over.”

Girl: “John! What a creative way to ask me to marry you!”


John: “Will you marry me?”

Marsha: “No, I am sorry I can’t--but I will always admire your excellent taste.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 57)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I have discovered in my short career that I don’t amount to very much; that all that I have tried to do, I have failed in. The only blessing of real comfort that I have received is in laboring in the ministry...I can testify to the children of men that I know what the Holy Ghost is, that is, I know what its influence is. I know that I have felt that joy, that peace, that satisfaction, that burning within me that comes from the influence of the Spirit of the Lord.”

“As one of the brethren expressed it: ‘I fancy that the minds of some of us are chloroformed,’ and we have imagined that we would be saved in our ignorance. The Lord has said, ‘Whatever intelligence you attain unto in this life will rise with you in the resurrection.’ ... And before we pass our opinion unwisely, as we do sometimes, it is well for us to ‘study it out in our minds.’” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 10,12)

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Mission Mania , p. 33

Mission Mania, p. 33