June 26

Questions about Noah and his Ark:

Did the pigs eat more than their share?

Did any of the animals get tired and grouchy?

Did the sheep stay in one fold or did they scatter and get lost?

How did he keep the termites from eating parts of the ark?

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 34)

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As a General Authority, Spencer W. Kimball traveled a lot, and he loved to joke with his friends. He wrote to one, “I thought you might have been at the depot as my train went through at five this morning.” To another he wrote, “I looked down as my airplane passed over your town at five this morning but didn’t see you out and about” (Spencer W. Kimball,” BYU Studies 25 [4]:67).

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Gossip Jokes:

Shelly: “So is that it? Is that the whole story?”

Katherine: “I should hope so! I have already told you quite a bit more than what I heard!”

One woman who was known for gossiping, hurried to her friend and lowered her voice and said, “You know I don’t like to repeat gossip—so I’m only going to say this once!”

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A mother gave her son two neckties for his birthday, and the next Sunday when he dressed for Church, he wore one of the ties. His mother noticed and said, “Didn’t you like the other tie?”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 92)

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J. Golden Kimball: I believe that a greater part of you will be saved in the kingdom of our Father. I believe that a greater part of you will be true, will be steadfast, will be firm, immoveable and unshaken. You are not dazzled nor bewildered by these allurements that are finding their way among this people. You have got past that. You no longer have on your shoulders young heads; you no longer care for the worldly society; you no longer hunger after the things of he world. You have been able to stamp under your feet these appetites and these weaknesses that young men have not yet overcome. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 52)

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