June 3

Not long ago, nine-year-old Ryan was talking with his Primary teacher, Brent Neil, about vacations. Brother Neil asked Ryan about his favorite vacation. Ryan began telling about his family’s trip to North Dakota to see the mountain with the four presidents carved on it. Brother Neil asked if Ryan could name the four presidents. Ryan was pretty quick to reply, ‘George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt...and...and oh, and Thomas S. Monson.” Kathy Farnes, Pleasant Grove, Utah. (Church News, September 30, 2000)

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Speaking with his sons about their eating habits, Brother Kipper remarked, “Did you know that nutritionists have proven that obesity is catching. You can get it from your knife, fork, and spoon.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 145)

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Signs that you might not have enough food storage:

Every time you need flour, you borrow it from your neighbor.

After being discovered, your year’s supply of granola bars was eaten in just two weeks.

You are proud of having stashed away a year’s supply of pizza coupons. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 21)

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One evening Bishop Limbergh was walking down the street to the chapel. On his way, he saw little Tommy Taylor trying to reach the doorbell of a Ward member’s home. The Bishop watched him for a moment, saw that the doorbell was too high for him, and went up to help him. “Hello, Tommy,” the Bishop said. He reached over the boy and pressed the doorbell for him. “There you go,” the Bishop said. “Is that all you need?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Tommy said. “And now we gotta run like heck!” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 26)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I take pride in being a son of my father, and as long as I live I shall never fail to honor my father and his successors, and try to be as loyal and true and steadfast in the faith as they have been. I am the only one who can destroy my faith in this work. God bless you. Amen.” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 268)

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Mission Mania,  p. 84

Mission Mania, p. 84