June 5

A Catholic Priest went into a barber shop for a haircut. When he was finished, the barber refused to take payment saying, “You are a man of the cloth. This is a free service that I offer to you.”

The Priest thanked the barber and went on his way. The next morning, the barber found a package from the Priest on his doorstep with two fishes and two loaves of bread inside.

The next week, a Jewish Rabbi went into the same shop for a haircut. Again the barber refused payment saying, “You are a man of God. This is a free service to you.”

The Rabbi thanked the barber and went on his way. The next morning, the barber found a package on his doorstep from the Rabbi with a beautiful Star of David inside.

The following week, two LDS missionaries went into this same shop for haircuts. Again, the barber refused payment saying, “You are in the service of God. This is a free service I offer to you.”

The next morning, the barber found twelve missionaries on his doorstep. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 108)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You have ever prepared dinner and delivered it to someone in your Ward.

You consider yourself to be a member of a “tribe.”

You have memorized all of your church leaders middle initials. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 23)

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A colonel on the governor’s staff died suddenly, leaving many applicants clamoring for the position. Before the funeral, one of the most insistent managed to corner the governor. “Don’t you think I should take the colonel’s place?” he asked.

“By all means,” said the governor. “Speak to the undertaker.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 30)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I feel more like saying, this morning, ‘Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.’ . . . At the time I was appointed to preside over the Southern States mission, I succeeded Elder William Spry...When Elder Spry turned the mission over to me, he handed me thirty-five dollars. I said, ‘Is that all you have got?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘How do you get the money to run the mission?’ ‘Why, we go to the Lord and ask him.’ ‘Well,’ I said, ‘I don’t think He is very liberal.’” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 269)

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Mission Mania , p. 82

Mission Mania, p. 82