June 6

Last fall our seven-year-old granddaughter started praying for President Gordon B. Hinckley, that he would do better in school. After several days of listening to her prayers, her parents asked her why she was praying for him. She replied, ‘You know, it’s because of his six B’s.” (Carol Thomas, Salt Lake City, Utah, Church News, Week ending December 29, 2001)

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At a Scout social, Sister Whiting said, “Son, that’s the fifth time you have been back for ice cream and cake. As a Scout, doesn’t that embarrass you?”

“No.” he smiled. “I keep telling them it is for you.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 129)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

Some days it feels like “there is sunshine in your soul.”

You have seen the name Melchizedek at least a hundred times, and you still can’t spell it.

You have never been fired, laid off, or retired from a calling–just released.

Your diaper bag contains more quiet books than diapers. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 23)

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Joseph Fielding Smith: My first Church assignment was to accompany Brigham Young to the dedication of the St. George Temple. Of course, I don’t remember that assignment too well, for I was just one year old at the time (Joseph Fielding Smith, Jr., Life of Joseph Fielding Smith, 49). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 31)

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J. Golden Kimball: I am in sympathy with the people. I know we have all been foolish. I am foolish. I don’t think there is a bigger fool than an old fool. A man who has had experience ought to know better. One of my brethren said to me, and he is a man so kind and gentle that I had told him of one of my last speculations, and he said, “If you are as big a sucker as that, you ought to take your medicine.” I said, “I am taking it---but it isn’t sugar-coated!” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 274)

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Mission Mania , p. 63

Mission Mania, p. 63