June 7

I once heard of a Primary teacher who asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.

“Yes,” he replied.

“And do you always say them in the morning, too?” the Primary teacher asked.

“No,” the boy replied. “I ain’t scared in the daytime.”

* * * * *

After having a physical game of tag football with twelve Scouts, the Scoutmaster commented, “The trouble with being a Scoutmaster is that you can’t be sure if the boys are following you or chasing you.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 128)

* * * * *

You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You have ever gone 24 hours without eating, on purpose.

You have been called a “counselor” while having no formal degree in counseling.

You give directions to some place by its proximity to a church. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 23)

* * * * *

As president of the Church, Spencer W. Kimball once extended an assignment to two members of the Twelve. His counselor, N. Eldon Tanner, said, “I can’t think of two finer men for this job.”

One of them modestly replied, “Surely you can do better than us.”

President Kimball countered, “Would you mind going ahead with the assignment while we look for two better men?” (“Spencer W. Kimball,” BYU Studies 25[4]:65) (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 32)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball: I met a banker a few weeks ago. We were very friendly. Thank the Lord, I do not owe “that” bank anything---but I do owe another bank.:-) I said to the banker, “How are things going?” “Well, we are taking everything but the suspenders of those who can’t make their payments.”

I thought afterwards that I should have said to him: If your bank hasn’t got any more elasticity than “my” suspenders, I will donate them to help the cause. :-) (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 274)

* * * * *

Mission Mania , p. 72

Mission Mania, p. 72