June 8

“What a fine-looking youngster,” said the elderly gentleman to Sister Scott. “While he is young, I hope you encourage him to be an Eagle Scout and to go on a mission.”

“Yes,” smiled the mother. “But I am afraid that is going to be difficult, since ...”

“Oh, nonsense,” interrupted the older gentleman. “As the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined.”

“I agree with that statement,” the mother replied. “However, this twig is bent on being a girl, and I am inclined to let her be just that!” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 128)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You can’t squeeze all of your children into one car.

Your scriptures have more verses underlined than not.

Your “endowment” has nothing to do with money. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 23)

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He who stand in the middle of the road is in a dangerous position; he gets knocked down by the traffic from both sides. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 32)

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J. Golden Kimball: I don’t feel it is right when a man is in hell, to stand over him and say: “Well, son, you are in hell. Get out as best you can. Sweat it out; swim or drown.” It does not sound Christ-like to me...We know how to take care of people, if the Lord will soften our hearts and help us to give and keep giving. I pray the Lord, while the people are giving, that he will soften the hearts of bankers...God bless the Church. God bless his servants and help them to see and understand, and above all, help us, O God, to understand people, that we may be patient, that we may be long-suffering, that we may be gentle, that we may not listen to things that are told us until they are proven to be true. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 274)

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