June 9

After the Scouts had finished a day of hiking, they stopped at an ice ceam shop to buy a treat. Each of the boys quickly told the attendant what kind of ice cream they wanted. When it came to Tony, the Scoutmaster told him, “I think you should have vanilla.”

“Why?” asked Tony. “Chocolate is my favorite.”

“Yes, I know,” said the Scoutmaster, “but I think vanilla will look better on your uniform.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 129)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You have been asked to take a turn locking up your church building at night for a week.

You prefer “strait” gates to “wide” gates and “narrow” ways to “Broadways.”

You know there is a difference between ironic and Aaronic. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 24)

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Near the end of the life of Church President Harold B. Lee, a film crew tried to convince him to wear makeup for the filming of his Christmas message. President Lee was not willing to comply, even though he looked rather tired and pale. “All important people have to wear makeup for filming,” one of he film crew said. “For instance, President Eisenhower used to have makeup put on him, and President Nixon has found he needs to wear it for television appearances.”

“Yes,” President Lee answered with a smile, “but I am not running for office” (see This People, Aug./Sept. 1985, 53). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 34)

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J. Golden Kimball: I remember not many conferences ago I was called to the stand just before the conference adjourned. President Grant told me I had seven minutes. I took three–and I think that is the only time President Grant ever shook hands with me after one of my talks.:-) President Grant did not shake hands with me because of what I said; it was because I left him four minutes, and that is more than any of the other brethren had ever done. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 276)

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