July 13

One day in the Branch President ‘s office, my friend and I were asked to accept a work assignment at the Hill Cumorah this coming Saturday. My friend accepted right away. I hesitated. The Branch President asked again if I would accept? I pulled out my Stake Calendar, looked at it and every Saturday was booked with some kind of church commitment, except this one. I took a big breath and replied, “Yes, I will go, but this church sure ruins a fellow’s fishing.” My Branch President smiled and said, “Yes, I know; it ruined ‘Peter’s’ too!” (From Charles Shephard)

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Fun questions to think about:

Which missionary companion would you choose to serve with?

Ammon, Parley P. Pratt, Paul, or Jonah?

Who’s seagoing vessel would you most want to cruise in?

The brother of Jared’s, Gilligan’s, Noah’s, or Hagoth’s

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 49)

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Richard Eye: We took a business associate to our favorite lake for a long weekend one summer. He spent the first day worrying about the calls he couldn’t make since we had no phones. The second day he gave in a little and started relaxing. At the end of the third day, he said, “You know, I think I have forgotten how to play.” Then with a pause and a smile, he said, “But, I am starting to think I have a natural aptitude for it and can relearn it if I just apply myself” (Don’t Just Do Something, 39).

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Reading the paper one morning, a man was startled to find his name on the obituary page. He quickly called the editor to protest. “I’m awfully sorry,” the editor replied. “It is too late to do much about it now. The best thing I can do for you is to put you in the ‘Birth Column’ tomorrow morning, and give you a fresh start.”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 214-215)

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J. Golden Kimball: The word of God teaches me that no man has a claim upon appointment in this Church, unless he is called of God as was Aaron. It doesn’t matter whose son he is, although I fancy sometimes that I got my position as one of the First Council, out of respect to my father, so that his name might be represented among the authorities of the Church. (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 116)

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So, You’re a Bishop?,  p. 55

So, You’re a Bishop?, p. 55