July 5

If these people were living today:

Would Solomon be appointed to the Supreme Court?

Would General Moroni work in the pentagon?

Would Moses ever go camping?

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 39)

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Mother: “Sam, I expect you to behave yourself here in your own home! What would your Scoutmaster say if you acted like that in Scout meeting?”

Son: “He would say, ‘Behave yourself, Sam–remember you are not at home now!’”

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A young couple had argued, and later as they drove through the countryside they saw a donkey standing in a field. “Are you related?” the man asked his wife, nodding toward the animal. “Not by blood,” said the wife. “Only by marriage.”

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The golden-wedding celebration was over, and the family was listening as Mom talked radiantly about what the day had meant to her. As she tried to express her feelings, Dad cut in: “Well now, dear, didn’t I promise you that if you married me, something nice would eventually happen.”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 133)

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J. Golden Kimball: Notwithstanding the seriousness of this general conference occasion, we need not pull long faces and put on an air of self righteousness, thinking it indicates faith and is pleasing to the Lord. The Lord has said, “Cease from your light speeches, and excess of laughter,” but He is surely pleased with pleasant countenances and a happy people...I read somewhere the following: “Many persons who never had a bright idea in their heads, or a generous sentiment in their hearts, assuming an air of owlish wisdom, affect to disdain wit and humor, have never heard of the great truth enunciated by Charles Lamb, ‘A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.’” (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 82)

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