Announcements you will never see in the Ward Bulletin:
Sacrament meeting will be delayed one hour next week for the Easter egg hunt. Please don’t bring any baskets into the chapel.
The Fergusons need their house painted and are taking bids from anyone interested, unless the Elders Quorum is willing to do it for free.
(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 87)
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Primary teacher: Billy, what do you think a land flowing with milk and honey would be like?
Billy: I think it would be awfully sticky.
Jedediah M. Grant: I do not know whether I have much of that fatherly feeling that Brother Brigham and Heber have, but I do not suppose that there is a man on the earth that is fonder of children than I am. If I do not like old people so well as some do, I like children well enough to balance the deficiency (Journal of Discourses 4:86).
Hugh B. Brown: An influence on my upbringing was my older brother Bud...I never felt any animosity or ill-will towards him, although he certainly had me in trouble most of the time. But the time soon came when I wanted to get even with Bud for all of his mischief. I had read a story in which a man died, was put in a big vault, and then came to life again...It was a very horrifying story. I knew if I could get Bud to read it, he would react as I had. So I asked him to read it. At the time, we slept on some hay in the basement of a big barn my father owned...I had previously arranged for a cousin to be in the basement in a sheet. When we opened the door, and he saw this ghost, Bud gave an unearthly scream and started to run. I overtook him and brought him back. We went to bed, and Bud covered up his head and began to pray. I felt a little guilty because he told the Lord all the bad things he had done and promised never to do any more. (Firmage, An Abundant Life, 2-4)
(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 42)
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J. Golden Kimball: I can see a hole in a donut. I have always grieved over a donut. My mother was a donut maker. When she showed me those donuts, I grieved over the hole. Some of the people say there is no hole in a donut, but I never could agree with them. I always see the hole. Do we sometimes just see the “hole” when it comes to our leaders...I think we have some faults and failings, but we are God’s people, and God is sustaining President Grant as a prophet, seer and revelator... (J. Golden Kimball, His Sermons, December 1891-April 1938, edited by Bonnie Taylor, 178)
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